Nigerian entrepreneur Nancy Umeh has shared her personal and emotional journey to motherhood, revealing her struggles with infertility and how she ultimately turned to surrogacy to complete her family.
Umeh, a businesswoman and fertility nurse, initially welcomed two children within a year of each other. However, after facing challenges in having more children, she decided to explore surrogacy as a viable option.
Reflecting on her early life, Umeh spoke of the difficulties she faced, stating, “My mother passed away, and it was my father who would buy our sanitary pads when we were younger. He would often ask, ‘Why aren’t you seeing your period?’”
Umeh also shared that she was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), a common hormonal disorder affecting women of reproductive age, which can cause irregular periods, hormonal imbalances, and difficulty conceiving. PCOS is one of the leading causes of infertility, and Umeh admitted that she had to work extremely hard to have her first two children, despite the condition.
“People with PCOS are often told that they need to have children early to avoid complications later,” she explained. “But after having my first two children at a relatively young age, by 26 or 27, my real challenges began.”
After taking a break for family planning, Umeh faced difficulty conceiving again. Despite undergoing numerous treatments, including Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) and later, In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF), Umeh experienced repeated miscarriages. “The miscarriages didn’t stop,” she recalled, describing her heartbreak after each attempt.
Following a particularly difficult miscarriage, Umeh’s doctor suggested surrogacy as an option. Initially unsure, Umeh embarked on four months of research into the surrogacy process. She eventually found a surrogacy agency through Instagram, where women shared their experiences with the process.
Dr. Olaronke Thaddeus, a representative from the surrogacy agency, explained that the process involves several steps, including psychological evaluations to ensure emotional readiness. “We ask many questions to make sure you fully understand what surrogacy entails before we proceed with the legal steps and contract signing,” Dr. Thaddeus said. “It’s important that everyone involved is clear on their responsibilities.”
Umeh added that in surrogacy, the process usually involves using IVF to harvest eggs and create embryos that will then be implanted into the surrogate mother. “Since I’ve been in this field, doctors generally prefer a C-section for women who conceive via IVF,” she noted, explaining that the procedure is considered safer for both mother and child.
While surrogacy is less expensive in Nigeria compared to other parts of the world, Umeh emphasized that it is still a significant financial commitment. “We had planned for this child for seven years. Every money we earned, we set some aside for the process,” she explained.
However, Umeh has faced backlash and misunderstanding from some quarters, especially on social media. She shared that many critics have accused her of engaging in unethical practices. “One person even made a TikTok video claiming that my husband had fathered a child with another woman because the child looked so much like him,” she said. “But I had to explain that we used our own genetic material.”
She also addressed harsh criticisms on Facebook, where people labeled her decision as “an abomination” and condemned her for going against religious beliefs. “I know what I did and I am at peace with it,” she said firmly.
Umeh’s experience sheds light on the challenges faced by women dealing with infertility and the stigma surrounding surrogacy. Despite the criticisms, she remains confident in her decision, knowing that it was the right choice for her family.
Her story serves as a reminder of the complex emotional, physical, and financial journey that many women face in their quest to become mothers.
Related topics:
Growing Male Infertility Crisis: Urgent Need for Improved Diagnosis and Treatment
Men Urged to Seek Support During Fertility Struggles Amid Growing Emotional Toll
Employers Urged to Adopt Fertility Treatment Policies to Support Employees
