Amol Rajan, the University Challenge host and presenter of Radio 4’s Today programme, opened up about his IVF journey and the profound impact it had on his life during a recent appearance on Jamie Laing’s Great Company podcast. Rajan, who is now a father-of-four, discussed the challenges he faced while trying to conceive with his wife, Charlotte Faircloth, and the emotional toll it took, including the pressure he felt to lead a “double life” while working as the editor of The Independent.
Rajan expressed his concern about the societal perception of IVF, fearing that many people see it as a “fallback” option and delay parenthood, assuming the treatment will work for them. He emphasized that while IVF is an incredible medical advancement, it doesn’t work for everyone and can bring immense heartache. “IVF is a near miracle technology, it’s an amazing thing, but it doesn’t work for everyone and it’s a lot of heartache,” he said.
Reflecting on his experience, Rajan recalled how, while managing the pressures of being a newspaper editor, he was also privately struggling with the emotional weight of IVF. “The whole time that I was editor of The Independent, I had this kind of secret life where I was trying to run a newspaper, turn a business round,” he shared. “I was trying to be a good boss, be a good journalist, be a good leader—but at the same time, my heart was hurting because we were going through IVF.”
Despite the challenges, the IVF process eventually worked for Rajan and Faircloth, and they were blessed with four children. Rajan expressed his deep gratitude, saying, “In the end, it worked, it worked out for our children, and I feel so incredibly blessed.”
Rajan also opened up about his struggles with grief following the death of his father, P. Varadarajan, in 2022. He spoke candidly about how the loss left him overwhelmed with sadness and caused him to contemplate suicide. Although he clarified that he never intended to take his life, he described experiencing “unbearable agony” and the overwhelming desire to reunite with his father. “I did think for the first time… I did think that there was a connection between ending my life and seeing my dad again,” he revealed.
On social media, Rajan shared a message urging those who may be struggling with dark thoughts to seek help. “If you’ve messaged me saying that you are feeling overwhelming despair or having dark thoughts, please, please, please talk to someone,” he wrote, encouraging others to reach out for support.
The podcast also touched on Laing’s own thoughts about parenthood and his internal struggle before marrying his wife, Sophie Habboo, in 2023. Laing, who had initially envisioned a life without children, expressed how his perspective changed after marrying Habboo, though he also acknowledged his concerns about his own fertility.
Rajan’s openness about his IVF struggles and grief serves as a powerful reminder of the emotional and personal challenges many face, and his message of seeking help and support resonates deeply with others who may be going through similar experiences.
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