Rachel Carlson, a 34-year-old woman from County Down, is speaking out about the profound psychological impact of experiencing five miscarriages in just three years, calling the trauma “not to be underestimated.” Despite the pain of reliving her experiences, she hopes that by sharing her story, others who have suffered in silence can find solace.
Carlson and her husband Jonathan have faced immense emotional and physical challenges on their path to parenthood. She describes feeling “falling apart” at times and reveals how deeply the trauma has affected her. Though not officially diagnosed with miscarriage-related post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), Carlson believes she is suffering from trauma. Research indicates that infertility-related trauma is more widespread than previously recognized, with up to 60% of women reporting that aspects of their medical care either caused or exacerbated their trauma.
For Rachel, the emotional toll has been compounded by distressing experiences within the healthcare system, including a moment when she was forced to walk through a maternity ward to reach an appointment. “I was furious to be made to wait in a room full of pregnant women, watching them come out of their appointments, all happy,” she said. In response to concerns like Rachel’s, the South Eastern Health Trust has announced plans to relocate gynaecology outpatient services to a more sensitive setting, acknowledging the distress of having gynaecology and maternity wards situated side by side.
The Fertility Network UK, in collaboration with Queen’s University Belfast, Cardiff University, and Cardiff Metropolitan University, recently conducted research highlighting how trauma from fertility treatments is often compounded by poor medical care. Their study of 590 people found that 41% met the criteria for PTSD, reinforcing that infertility-related trauma is a hidden epidemic in many couples’ lives. Hilary Knight, the Northern Ireland coordinator for Fertility Network UK, emphasized the need for healthcare providers to be trained in trauma-informed care to support the emotional well-being of fertility patients.
The NHS estimates that one in seven couples experience difficulty conceiving, and while not everyone will experience trauma, the number of individuals like Rachel who face profound emotional struggles is significant. Rachel’s husband, Jonathan, also feels the weight of this burden. “I am definitely experiencing second-hand trauma, if not my own,” he said, recalling the devastating moment when they learned of their third miscarriage. “We ended up just crying in the car afterwards for an hour.”
As the couple continues to navigate their journey, they are unsure of their next steps. However, Rachel remains resolute in not “quite ready to give up.” She has found comfort in small gestures, such as purchasing five stuffed bunnies to represent each of the children she has lost. These items have become a meaningful part of her grief process, sitting on her mantelpiece as sensory objects that offer her comfort.
Rachel has also chosen to mark her strength and resilience with a tattoo of the word “courage” on her arm. “It reminds me of who I am – courageous, strong, and brave,” she says, reflecting her determination to move forward despite the overwhelming challenges she faces.
Rachel’s journey highlights the urgent need for both medical and societal shifts to address the emotional and psychological impact of infertility and miscarriage. Her story resonates deeply with many couples facing similar struggles, underscoring the importance of empathy, understanding, and trauma-informed care in healthcare systems.
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